"The travel habits of a fugitive, the luxury tastes of a billionaire’s neglected trust fund kid, and the emotional stability of a raccoon on Red Bull"
"Makes life choices like a philosopher and a Vegas high roller had a love child who was raised by an algorithm trained on trans Twitter and airline loyalty programs"
"A walking paradox wrapped in an expensive coat, carrying a passport that gets more stamps than a teenage boy’s fist in gym class"
"Lives life like a perpetual layover—never fully arriving anywhere, just vibing in airport lounges, dodging responsibility, and collecting hotel points like they’re Pokémon"